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recursiveparadoxSometimes the trans community infuriates me.
It isn't the majority of the time and likely not even a majority of the people. But this vocal mid sized minority manages to regularly fuck up quite a few safe spaces I and many others have tried to stay within for quite some time now.
I myself have been lucky in some ways. My city has a brilliantly supportive trans group and when I have the time to go, I get a lot out of going. I'm involved in http://whatisgender.net which is probably the best web orientated trans community I've ever been on (however it is also heavily nonbinary orientated and I am MtF).
Others have not been so lucky. I know one particularly nice guy who has been trying to get support on a certain unnamed website (I don't know if the crazy bitch who runs it would be willing to sue me frivolously or not, but I can't afford court costs so: unnamed) and getting screwed regularly.
People tear each other apart there. There's all these "trannier than thou" hierarchies that drive me fucking batshit. If you're an MtF who's tomboyish or you're an ftm who's a little bit femmy or even worse, if you're a nonbinary, kiss your ass goodbye in places like this.
Suddenly everything you say is suspect. Suddenly everyone will be telling you just how not trans you are. I had one rancid bitch tell me that I was just a genital mutilator who was probably abused as a child and not really trans. All because of how I regard the abstract concept of social gender. For those who worry, I can assure you, my childhood contains absolutely no abuse.
The hierarchies aren't the only problem. A bit of the straight trans folk and a bit of the gay trans folk get into little spats over whether we ought to be even allied with GLB of the GLBT community. Some of the complaints are valid. The GLB have fucked us over in a lot of unpleasant ironic ways.
Dropping GENDA to pass SONDA anyone? Dropping the ball for us on the national level with the ENDA legislature too? I can bet you five bucks that if Marriage Equality legislature in NY State passes and GENDA doesn't, the next Equality and Justice Day will have a shit ton less people at it in Albany next year. (Bet not made to all of you, just you as an audience, split it evenly if I lose *wink*)
There's a chunk of GLB's who regard trans folk as weird freaks who drag them down or as gays just trying to "cure" ourselves (Neverfuckingmind that some of us end up gay, bi or lesbian after transition). It's a little disgusting. And then you've got straight trans folk who don't want to be associated with sexuality in any way or form and don't want to be associated with nonbinaries either because they regard themselves as totally normal.
Unfortunately for us, going from your birth sex to another sex isn't common and we really ought to operate our activism with that in mind, instead of ignoring it to make ourselves feel better. In the end, the guy that stabs you because he found out you had a penis a long while ago is still going to stab you because he thinks he just fucked a dude, no matter how female you think you are. Might be wise to work on activism orientated around that sort of shit instead of plugging our ears and going "LA LA LA I'M A CHICK IT DOESN'T APPLY TO ME". Yeah. Sure it doesn't apply.
Then we have the (thankfully less common) nonbinaries who love to run around going "gender doesn't exist! We should all be genderless! Don't get surgery! You're only encouraging the binary!"
Yeah, asshole, that's totally going to reduce my dysphoria and make my male body acceptable to my brain. Fucking idiot. I'm all for removing social roles as an enforced characteristic and I'm all for reducing the excessive gender labeling that has such a toxic influence on our society. But I'm still going to change my body from male to female, and those social things being adjusted isn't going to change that need.
We fight over whether GID should be labeled as a disorder or an identity (forgetting that we won't get that medical care if it isn't a disorder) and we fight over what transgender and transsexual means.
Its... discouraging. And irritating. And I don't have a great solution. Mostly because I'm not sure what causes the problem. Why do we fight amongst ourselves so much? Why are the disagreements so polarized? Why are the reactions so violent and belligerent?
It drives me just a little bit nuts.
It isn't the majority of the time and likely not even a majority of the people. But this vocal mid sized minority manages to regularly fuck up quite a few safe spaces I and many others have tried to stay within for quite some time now.
I myself have been lucky in some ways. My city has a brilliantly supportive trans group and when I have the time to go, I get a lot out of going. I'm involved in http://whatisgender.net which is probably the best web orientated trans community I've ever been on (however it is also heavily nonbinary orientated and I am MtF).
Others have not been so lucky. I know one particularly nice guy who has been trying to get support on a certain unnamed website (I don't know if the crazy bitch who runs it would be willing to sue me frivolously or not, but I can't afford court costs so: unnamed) and getting screwed regularly.
People tear each other apart there. There's all these "trannier than thou" hierarchies that drive me fucking batshit. If you're an MtF who's tomboyish or you're an ftm who's a little bit femmy or even worse, if you're a nonbinary, kiss your ass goodbye in places like this.
Suddenly everything you say is suspect. Suddenly everyone will be telling you just how not trans you are. I had one rancid bitch tell me that I was just a genital mutilator who was probably abused as a child and not really trans. All because of how I regard the abstract concept of social gender. For those who worry, I can assure you, my childhood contains absolutely no abuse.
The hierarchies aren't the only problem. A bit of the straight trans folk and a bit of the gay trans folk get into little spats over whether we ought to be even allied with GLB of the GLBT community. Some of the complaints are valid. The GLB have fucked us over in a lot of unpleasant ironic ways.
Dropping GENDA to pass SONDA anyone? Dropping the ball for us on the national level with the ENDA legislature too? I can bet you five bucks that if Marriage Equality legislature in NY State passes and GENDA doesn't, the next Equality and Justice Day will have a shit ton less people at it in Albany next year. (Bet not made to all of you, just you as an audience, split it evenly if I lose *wink*)
There's a chunk of GLB's who regard trans folk as weird freaks who drag them down or as gays just trying to "cure" ourselves (Neverfuckingmind that some of us end up gay, bi or lesbian after transition). It's a little disgusting. And then you've got straight trans folk who don't want to be associated with sexuality in any way or form and don't want to be associated with nonbinaries either because they regard themselves as totally normal.
Unfortunately for us, going from your birth sex to another sex isn't common and we really ought to operate our activism with that in mind, instead of ignoring it to make ourselves feel better. In the end, the guy that stabs you because he found out you had a penis a long while ago is still going to stab you because he thinks he just fucked a dude, no matter how female you think you are. Might be wise to work on activism orientated around that sort of shit instead of plugging our ears and going "LA LA LA I'M A CHICK IT DOESN'T APPLY TO ME". Yeah. Sure it doesn't apply.
Then we have the (thankfully less common) nonbinaries who love to run around going "gender doesn't exist! We should all be genderless! Don't get surgery! You're only encouraging the binary!"
Yeah, asshole, that's totally going to reduce my dysphoria and make my male body acceptable to my brain. Fucking idiot. I'm all for removing social roles as an enforced characteristic and I'm all for reducing the excessive gender labeling that has such a toxic influence on our society. But I'm still going to change my body from male to female, and those social things being adjusted isn't going to change that need.
We fight over whether GID should be labeled as a disorder or an identity (forgetting that we won't get that medical care if it isn't a disorder) and we fight over what transgender and transsexual means.
Its... discouraging. And irritating. And I don't have a great solution. Mostly because I'm not sure what causes the problem. Why do we fight amongst ourselves so much? Why are the disagreements so polarized? Why are the reactions so violent and belligerent?
It drives me just a little bit nuts.
You know who this is
Date: 2009-05-03 07:19 pm (UTC)Re: You know who this is
Date: 2009-05-03 07:24 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-05-04 03:27 am (UTC)What website is it that's so poisonous (I'm curious if I've been there)? If you don't feel safe saying it here, you can PM me with it.
Agreed
Date: 2009-05-05 08:53 pm (UTC)-Jace/Deos
Re: Agreed
Date: 2009-05-06 03:58 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-05-06 04:01 am (UTC)I'm really glad that happened, it sounds like I could've been really screwed if I ended up on the wrong forum.
And I agree- I hate that in any community. Everyone is diferent, why is that hard for people to accept?
(no subject)
Date: 2009-05-17 07:14 am (UTC)And when people get in any large group discuss one topic with a wide variety of opinions, particularly on a subject that important to them, they will generally become incredibly hostile with people who disagree, as to reverse or alter your position would alter the way the issue affects you.
In this case, it would mean that in accepting a different view, you would be forced to accept that your original perceptions were wrong.
What I don't understand is how people treat things like this as though it were governed by a hard set of absolutes. To me, it seems to be the social application of a variety of things that push (or nudge, or whatever) various people towards similar ends.
In these circumstances, it seems to me that empiricism would not negate many of these varied opinions, as they seem to be just that- opinions. Varied interpretations of a wide variety of experiences. There are varying degrees of overlap in the collective experiences of the individuals in any community, but the range seems particularly wide in that particular community.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-05-17 06:23 pm (UTC)The sheer level of complexity and different paths pretty much guarantees that there will be some level of disagreement, because people always want absolute definitions for things.
I agree with the empiricism part though. People need to learn to separate opinion from science and hard fact. One's experiences aren't negated by the empirical data. That experience was definitely still had.
I guess the real issue is, people need to stop needing everyone to be exactly like them or to have absolute definitions for everything and the infighting will vastly improve.