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recursiveparadoxUpdate: A friend of mine mentioned sexual violence and dehumanization targeting queer men and trans men by straight cis women, so I'll wait till she comments in greater detail before I make any major edits.
Something new and shitty happens every week to further drive home the point that male privilege, sexism and the rape culture is alive and well and that we have a lot of work ahead of us to fight those things.
Relatively recently someone called my phone, most likely a straight cis guy, and asked me if I could masturbate for him. I hung up and he called several more times (presumably, I didn't actually pick up the phone). The fact that some pissant asshole thinks he has a right to call a random girl and sexually harass her over her phone, without any indication that she wanted to be sexual with him, is pretty fucking disgusting.
And this attitude is part of what fuels the rape culture. This idea that women can be subjected to unwanted sexual attention and that it isn't an issue stems from the overriding ideology that we don't own our own bodies, that instead, our bodies are up for grabs from whomever is willing to make the grab. Someone tried to make the grab using the phone and when I hung up, they didn't honor that very obvious and very explicit rejection, further cementing the impression that they don't view me as the owner of my own body. It's scary, it's creepy and it left me feeling really fucking unsafe. It's a huge disregard for bodily domain, something only really taken seriously when it's violated on people who have power and privilege in society. The more -isms descend on your head, the less likely a violation of your bodily domain, your space and you, will be cared about. Women are still pretty damn far down that pyramid.
These attitudes are why women are raped so damn much, by men. Obviously, men are raped by men and women two and there are thousands of combinations of perpetrator and victim when you look at the nonbinaries, but none of the numbers really come close to the sheer ridiculous amounts of rapes that cisgendered straight men perpetrate against woman of all types and stripes (including trans women, IS women, lesbian women, black women, white women etc). There are racial, transphobic and homophobic elements that come into play too that can get minorities targeted more heavily, but I can't go into that as well as this (beyond the trans and maybe lesbian side of it) because my privilege makes it hard to speak on racial elements in this when I'm speaking from my own experiences. So if any people of color are reading right now, please do add some perspective on how race factors into the rape culture. If you're willing, I can even add in some edits with mentions of what you say.
So, these ridiculous numbers? They're a fucking problem. And this is from someone who, before transition, did not see this attitude of dehumanization women face as so widespread. So I am giving you the solid mention of someone who has experienced this shift, if the numbers aren't enough to make it clear.
Something is very wrong in Western Society. So yes, we still need feminism and womanism.
Something new and shitty happens every week to further drive home the point that male privilege, sexism and the rape culture is alive and well and that we have a lot of work ahead of us to fight those things.
Relatively recently someone called my phone, most likely a straight cis guy, and asked me if I could masturbate for him. I hung up and he called several more times (presumably, I didn't actually pick up the phone). The fact that some pissant asshole thinks he has a right to call a random girl and sexually harass her over her phone, without any indication that she wanted to be sexual with him, is pretty fucking disgusting.
And this attitude is part of what fuels the rape culture. This idea that women can be subjected to unwanted sexual attention and that it isn't an issue stems from the overriding ideology that we don't own our own bodies, that instead, our bodies are up for grabs from whomever is willing to make the grab. Someone tried to make the grab using the phone and when I hung up, they didn't honor that very obvious and very explicit rejection, further cementing the impression that they don't view me as the owner of my own body. It's scary, it's creepy and it left me feeling really fucking unsafe. It's a huge disregard for bodily domain, something only really taken seriously when it's violated on people who have power and privilege in society. The more -isms descend on your head, the less likely a violation of your bodily domain, your space and you, will be cared about. Women are still pretty damn far down that pyramid.
These attitudes are why women are raped so damn much, by men. Obviously, men are raped by men and women two and there are thousands of combinations of perpetrator and victim when you look at the nonbinaries, but none of the numbers really come close to the sheer ridiculous amounts of rapes that cisgendered straight men perpetrate against woman of all types and stripes (including trans women, IS women, lesbian women, black women, white women etc). There are racial, transphobic and homophobic elements that come into play too that can get minorities targeted more heavily, but I can't go into that as well as this (beyond the trans and maybe lesbian side of it) because my privilege makes it hard to speak on racial elements in this when I'm speaking from my own experiences. So if any people of color are reading right now, please do add some perspective on how race factors into the rape culture. If you're willing, I can even add in some edits with mentions of what you say.
So, these ridiculous numbers? They're a fucking problem. And this is from someone who, before transition, did not see this attitude of dehumanization women face as so widespread. So I am giving you the solid mention of someone who has experienced this shift, if the numbers aren't enough to make it clear.
Something is very wrong in Western Society. So yes, we still need feminism and womanism.
This is pretty much on target
Date: 2009-08-24 01:41 am (UTC)Anyways, the DV stats for cis lesbians are one factor that does not agree with the power differential perpetuating systemic violence, but that aside, you make excellent points here.
The cis women on GV perceived as men and cis on trans violence history was what I was referring to, and that history was my own.
One of the problems of cis women on trans women violence is how the perceived power differential shifts when outed. If a cis woman hassles a trans woman and then outs her to the authorities, the cis woman can often get the trans woman ugendered with some impressively bad results.
So, its that ungendering and perceived as male that I was referring to. It got one trans woman survivor of Katrina shot on sight in a woman's shower in a shelter, and makes DV services for trans women completely unavailable.
Feminism and womanism are worse than worthless in these situations, since they do not honor the notion of the power dynamic that is really at work in any of these situations, and very often, will reverse it, and favor the privileged, offending entity.
Feminism in its current cissupremacist incarnation are only useable when het cis women are involved, and no other oppressions. The same can be said of womanism, with the caveat that it incorporates race.
Beyond that, I agree with you that something is very wrong in Western society, but I disagree that invoking a tool of cissupremacy is the way to deal with it. Feminism is not your friend, unless you are relatively privileged by the kyriarchy already.
I honestly do not expect this to change in my lifetime.
Re: This is pretty much on target
Date: 2009-08-24 03:14 am (UTC)In your opinion, based on your experiences, would it be more worth it to attempt to reform feminism to purge the cissexism or would it be more worth it to enact a semi-schism (like the womanist folks did) and just roll with trans specific one?
Because my experiences (as a rather young trans woman) have largely been good with feminists and womanists and while I hope that such is indicative of a paradigm shift in those movements to combat cissexism and ciscentrism (as part of the forward flow of time and progress) it's also just as possible that my location has sheltered me immensely.
Re: This is pretty much on target
Date: 2009-08-24 03:36 am (UTC)But, the changes that will need to take place are generational.
I would attempt the semi schism only because trans women deserve to be appreciated and honored for our distinct struggles, and feminism has been an abysmally poor steward of our lives.
Beyond that, I do think we need to develop our own stories, our own culture, and our own mode of thought wrt feminist thinking. Anything else will simply erase vital parts of us, and the strain of having to wear somebody else's cultural hand me downs to describe our lives is too much. I know it is for me, some other folks may be just hunky dory with using the colonizer's language to conduct their business and their lives.
But, I am more than a generation removed from you, so, I am not at all sure my way is the way to go. Most of these questions will end up for you to decide, rather than I. My experiences have dissuaded me from even seeking the experiences you describe out, since if I haven't had them in my decades of searching by now, I am unlikely to find them now.
The possibilities of my generation are going to be eclipsed by the ones for your, and that is a good and necessary thing.
Re: This is pretty much on target
Date: 2009-08-24 03:17 pm (UTC)To a certain extent I am already seeking to make my mark on feminism and incorporate my unique narrative into it so I am not drowned out by cissexual silencing.
But my generation can certainly create a separate zone to specifically combat transmisogyny, specialized, capable and dedicated. At least until feminism has pushed itself in the right direction and cis privilege is accounted for when they try to speak about us.
Do you accept that trans women are a colonized people?
Date: 2009-08-24 03:51 pm (UTC)That means you are effectively making the master's house, eating at the foot of the master's table, instead of seeing to your own. So, your path is fraught with the same issues as any tenancy-at-sufferance. Remember that, it may save your life one day.
To a certain extent I am already seeking to make my mark on feminism and incorporate my unique narrative into it so I am not drowned out by cissexual silencing.
I can see that. All of us are, but one of the features of any privileged group is how tenaciously they hold onto that privilege. Privilege is not an enemy that can be vanquished, driven out, or eliminated. It can only be kept at bay by constant struggle.
With any struggle, you will need a place to rest. Do not forget that.
But my generation can certainly create a separate zone to specifically combat transmisogyny, specialized, capable and dedicated. At least until feminism has pushed itself in the right direction and cis privilege is accounted for when they try to speak about us.
The first of those is not only more likely to happen, but far far more critical to trans women's health and welfare.
Beyond that, I would love to hear more about this last part.
Good luck.
Re: Do you accept that trans women are a colonized people?
Date: 2009-08-24 10:19 pm (UTC)As well as not explicitly trusting cis feminists with the power to harm me directly (which I've already done by keeping my identity secret to virtually everyone in the blogging world).
That should keep me safe while allowing me to reform feminism from within and without.
it's ty_ping, you're internets confuse me
Date: 2009-09-07 10:40 pm (UTC):D
In any case, this made me think of a show that I was watching that one of the women on it pissed me off.
She was on this femminist show for getting women to bond and get over their abusive partners. Her partner was apparently abusive because He broke up with Her after calling the cops on her for hitting him.
But she's the victim and was coo'ed over on this show for being a broken woman that needed her sisters to lift her back up.
e-scuze me for a moment while I go bash my head into a wall.
By the by, have you see the newest "Best dance crew" with the group with the Broad in it? I like her, she's classy ^_^
I hope they win.
Re: it's ty_ping, you're internets confuse me
Date: 2009-09-07 11:33 pm (UTC)I wouldn't call me PC. I'm too pissy and bitchy to be PC. XD
There are some bad apples in feminism, actually, there's a lot of bad transphobic apples in feminism, but there are a few out there that are complete morons. Like that one on that show.
Hitting a guy you're in a relationship with is entirely domestic abuse and he was right to call the cops on her and break up with her for that.
Re: it's ty_ping, you're internets confuse me
Date: 2009-09-12 06:31 am (UTC)It's just things like this, and those people in your trans group who got all up my ass for asking pretty commonplace questions, and then rape culture and the reactionist femmenatizism in it that just make me throw up my hands and go "Don't know, don't care, Don't wanna know, Don't wanna care" and then plug my ears screeching the "Jesus loves me" song at the top of my lungs as off key as I can.
hurf durf.
(You can reply to a random post on my blog or in our thread cus I probably won't check the response to this as far back as it is in your blog)
Re: it's ty_ping, you're internets confuse me
Date: 2009-09-14 02:07 am (UTC)It's just something you gotta be patient through because of how hard it gets to be nice to people when everyone spits on you for a viewpoint and a different set of needs.