No.

[recursiveparadox]

I will not pander to those who see me as a role or purpose in their lives. I am a person. If you can not accept my layers then you have no worth to me. If you act as though your comfort, your reputation is automatically more important then my health, you have no worth to me. If you balk at the idea of me changing, as all people do with time, then you have no worth to me. If you refuse to respect me, my pronouns, my name, my identity and my feelings then you have no worth to me.

I am done making excuses for people to treat me like shit. I am done being made into an object or role so that someone else can be more comfortable. I am done with people selfishly putting their image or comfort above my effing health and then asking me how I could be so "selfish" as to transition. The irony is just sickening.

I will not pander to it. I will not allow it. If you do this to me, I will turn my back on you. I will walk away from you. I won't look back.

And you'll only have yourself to blame.

Comments

There was like a grinding *click*

[(Anonymous)]

I was thinking about you earlier (not like that... unless you want me to ^_~)

It involved looking at a card... with clams on it. I'll just leave that there.

Anyway and I swear there was this rusty grinding click sound and now my pronouns of you have changed.

You're now Paradox, and you're a she in my head.

I think finally seeing you with boobs cemented that.

Re: There was like a grinding *click*

[(Anonymous)]

Yanno, that green font makes that cl look like a D...

Re: There was like a grinding *click*

[recursiveparadox]

Hehe, I was wondering about that. I thought it was witty wordplay.

[(Anonymous)]

I was just talking about this in my support group... but nothing anybody said quite impacted me like this. I'm not a role I'm a person. Perhaps its time to put a stop to letting them call me how they like and tell me how to dress.

[recursiveparadox]

I'm glad I could help.

[(Anonymous)]

For most people, you are a role. That's natural. But gender doesn't (shouldn't) really play into it, for the most part. If it does, then changing the perception changes the role, to whatever extent.

In some cases, that means you won't be able to fulfill that role anymore (for example, if you were someone's gigolo before, you won't be able to do that anymore.) Or another role will open up (if you get bottom surgery you can be a prostitute! ;P)

In other cases, expectations and personal relationships will need to shift around a bit, but ultimately you're still fulfilling the same role (offspring, peer, significant other, etc.).

In most cases, it doesn't (shouldn't) matter at all. To most people, you're effectively an ID number with a few physical and employable characteristics, and that's it.

Maybe I misunderstood what you're saying, but I don't think an ultimatum is quite optimal here. Yes, tit for tat and all that, but someone acting out of self-preservation, even as vapidly as your father, doesn't make them entirely worthless.

-Blair

[(Anonymous)]

^^^^^^^^

[recursiveparadox]

Hi Blair XD (I recognized you before I saw the marking)

It isn't so much an ultimatum as it is a venting. For the sake of my self preservation, I can't pander to people taking my role as more important than me. I have to see them as lacking in worth to walk away from them and so that is what I do.

It's steeling myself for the shitstorm I know is to come with my family and my older friends.

Blar sez:

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah. No pandering allowed! D:

Be understanding where appropriate, apologetic where necessary, but no compromises.